When You Ask Me if I Still Love You

Dear Bella,

Oh, Bella …. maybe it’s just been a long day. Or maybe I just worry too much. Probably a little of both. 

I love you. 

I just want that to be ever so loud to you and from my heart. Let me say it again.

I love you.

I never knew I wanted a girl until I had you. And once I held you in my arms, I knew I was incredibly grateful to a God who knows me better than I know myself. You are precious. And let me say it one more time.

I love you.

Every time you get in trouble lately, you ask me a question that rips right into my soul. “But do you still love me?” you ask with tear-streaked cheeks and an agonizing quiver in your so sweet 3-year-old voice. (And truthfully, when you ask, it sounds a little like this – “But do you still luff me?” We’ll work on that “v” sound later, ok?)

And then you wait. 

Your entire world hinges on my reaction to your question. Don’t think I underestimate the value of my answer. 

“Yes, Bella …. a thousand times yes.” No matter what you do or where you go or how your hurt me, my answer is yes. You are my child. You always will be … nothing can ever take that away from us. You are one of four precious people who has heard my heart beat from inside of me. 

I love you. 

But when I answer you lately, I say it in terms you understand. “Yes, Bella. I love you. I will always love you.”

You usually run away, the moment of crisis in your life over so quickly. Oh, that I can always solve your crises with just one word, with just one quick answer. I know they won’t always be that simple. But my answer will always be the same.

I love you.

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