09.24.2012

No. I Didn’t Wash the Sheets.

Dear Bella,

It’s time for us to have a girl-to-girl talk. The kind where we are honest with each other, admit our faults and move on.

You’re only four, so we haven’t had too many of those. And I’ll admit. I’m taking the easier path by writing a letter instead of talking. One day, you will actually be able to read and by then you will be ready for what I’m about to tell you.

I didn’t wash your sheets.

This morning, before school, you asked if I washed your napmat cover and blanket that you use every day for your nap during pre-k at school. Fortunately, you were too distracted by putting on your tennis shoes that you didn’t notice my avoidance answer.

“They’re in your school bag, ready to go,” I said.

Which, for the record, was 100 percent true. I just left a little of the story out. I never took them out of your school bag and washed them.

I’m sure that there are lots of pre-k moms out there who dutifully take out their children’s sheets from their schoolbag on Friday afternoon and have them freshly washed for Monday morning. Just like the teacher’s note told us to do.

I’m not that mom, Bella.

I’ve done the math. Your nap time is from 1:30 – 2:32 daily. If you go to school five days a week, that’s five hours and 10 minutes per week you spend resting on your sheets at school.

It would take 84 hours (about 16 weeks of pre-k naps) to equal one week’s worth of sleeping on your sheets at home. Considering that I’ve never in my life been faithful at washing your sheets once a week, I figure I have at least 20 – 30 weeks of school before I need to worry about actually washing the sheets.

Twice.

That’s what all those numbers mean. If I wash your nap sheets twice during the school year, I figure I’m on track. (I’m thinking Christmas and Easter break …. It would be a little gift from me to you.) So, no. I didn’t wash your sheets. You’ve only been in school for about 4 weeks. And two of those weeks were skipped because of hurricane days.

I’ll confess. The first few Fridays, I looked at your sheets and thought “I should wash those.”

Now, the thought doesn’t cross my mind. Neither do I bother switching the sheets around in your schoolbag to make it seem as though I washed them. (I did that during weeks one and two. But in an effort to be authentic, I have decided to quit pretending.)

Ms. Nemes, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry. I hope you still let me volunteer in Bella’s classroom. We adore everything about what she is learning and how she is growing in your incredible classroom.

But when I volunteer, just don’t ask me to wash all those sheets.


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