06.15.2013

Run to Him

Dear Lucy, 
It feels incredibly hard to explain so many things to you lately. You’re so young, but so inquisitive. Truly, it seems as though your conversations are mature well beyond your years. Nothing passes you by, and sometimes, you catch things that others around you miss.
Man is but a Breath
Lately, we’ve dealt with death as a family. It’s almost a month ago today that Maw Maw Iona died. Though 81 years old, her death came as a shock, leaving an ache in our hearts right where she should still be. The weekend before she died, you and Bella played hide-and-seek with her at her house. She hid quarters, and you girls would run and find them. You threw yours up in the air, losing one before you left. Maw Maw promised to find it and return it to you.
She never did.
Mimi found your quarter this week while she was at Maw Maw’s house. It was on top her refrigerator. When you threw it, the quarter landed on top of a towel on top of her refrigerator and stayed there. But Maw Maw never found it.
When you learned of her death, all your 3-year-old self could say was “She was looking for my quarter for me. Now she’ll never look for my quarter again.”
Your tears were huge. And your heart cried with the first taste of the bitterness of death.
Over the past month, you’ve cried at different moments, wishing you could see her again.
But today, when we talked about another recent death of a friend’s brother that has saddened our hearts, you asked a question from the back seat.
“Mommy, are you gonna’ die?”
I didn’t answer for a moment. My head told me to shout a loud “No!”
I’m going to raise you four children, and I’m going to be here to see you get married, have your own children. I’m not missing a thing.
But my heart said to tell you “Yes.”
I am dying, Lucy. We all are. Every day we live means we are one step closer to our death. I didn’t explain all of that to you today. I simply said that as far as I know, I’ll be here for a long time.
But tonight, as I think about it, I know that it’s not true. This life is brief. Death reminds us of the brevity of life. David, who was once king wrote, “Man is like a breath, his days are like a passing shadow.” (Psalms 144:4). He later wrote that “He who dwells in the shadow of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.”
Because even the shadow of an Almighty God matters. Our shadow fades and passes away, but the shadow of God is forever.
Shadows
I pray that you find your rest in God’s shadow. Know that He hears your voice and that all who call on the name of the Lord will be saved. The sadness of this short life is made sweet by the promise of a God who grants eternal life to those who call upon His Name.
When the hurts of this world make your heart break, run to the One who mends. Run to the One who has called you by name. Run to the One who promises life eternal. Run to Him.

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