Eggrolls, music videos, & black teeth

This post may feel a little out of character for those who only know me through this blog. Though our family moments are sometimes poignant and somewhat precious, we are most often very ridiculous. It starts from the top and trickles right on down to the youngest. So, this post is a little glimpse into our lives. Here it is, in random order: egg rolls, music videos, and black teeth.

So here’s what love for my children looked like recently. My friend makes the world’s most amazing stuff-them-in-your-mouth-before-anyone-else-can-get-any egg rolls. I take my food seriously. And these are the real deal. They’re deep-fried goodness that I crave.

In the sweetest gesture, she brought some egg rolls for our family. She met me in front of my street to drop them off to me before I headed to pick up my kids from school. She had made food for another family, and made a few extra egg rolls for us.

I picked up the eggrolls and managed to not open the container until I was safely parked in car line, waiting to pick up the kids. When I unrolled the wrapping, that’s when I saw the dilemma. When I opened the egg roll container, five freshly fried egg rolls stared back at me.

Five.

For the uninitiated, my friend’s homemade egg rolls are a little larger than your average egg roll. As in. There’s NO WAY I CAN EAT FIVE. Twenty minutes in car line. Alone. Egg roll deliciousness sending aromatic triggers to my brain saying “you must eat me now.”

The dilemma is this: Five kids would get into the car in a few minutes. If I ate an egg roll, there would only be four. One kid would miss out. Or two kids would have to split an egg roll in half.

What’s a girl to do?

Another side note. My kids are pretty much starving when they get into the car. If I offered them stale sunflower seeds from last season’s soccer games, they would scarf it down.

Five starving kids.

Five eggrolls.

One mom trying to make the right decision.

I walked out of the car, determined to distract myself. So I talked to a friend waiting in car line two cars in front of me.

Here’s the end of the story. Those five, hot, delicious eggrolls were sitting right there in their container when all five kids tromped into the van. They immediately asked about the delicious smell, then they noticed the package. Then. I kid you not. Screamed in absolute excitement about the five eggrolls from my eggroll-making friend.

They scarfed down eggrolls as I drove in silence. (Which is a beautiful thing about mouths full of eggrolls, there was a few unexpected moments of silence while we drove the 15 minutes home that day.)

I didn’t say a word. But I snagged a picture of the five eggrolls before all the kids piled into the van. Because I’m going to pull that picture out when we’re having a bad day.

And here’s what I’ve got to say to them.

I didn’t eat your egg roll.

“But mom, you’re the only mom who forgot to get us Valentine Day presents again.”

I didn’t eat your egg roll.

“Why don’t you ever let me _______?”

I didn’t eat your egg roll.

“All the other moms let their kids _________.”

I didn’t eat your egg roll.

The end. No other argument needed. #momoftheyear

So, we’ve been memorizing the books of the Bible during our car rides to and from school. The oldest two boys turn twelve in a little over a month, and I realized I’d never taught them the books of the Bible. Oops. I’m correcting that. And if they somehow feel disillusioned by a mom who forgot to teach the 66 most important books:

I didn’t eat your egg roll.

Their dad calls while we were in the car and on the way to school early last week. He’s been out of town a good bit, so we’ve been a little fatherless and husbandless. It definitely makes us appreciate him a whole lot more, so it’s kind of been a good thing. But we’re glad he’s home now. He asked us what we were doing on our ride to school, and the kids tell him we are working on a video. He says “that’s cool,” but I can tell he thinks we’re making some sort of books of the Bible video to send him.

What he didn’t know is that we were making a real-deal, totally legit music video. So, later that night, we sent him a clip of hours of hard work of making our first-ever family music video. (This took more work than you can ever imagine. Just smile and act like we’re normal.)

And last, but certainly not least.

Black teeth.

It’s just a thing. We love black teeth. My kids can do black teeth, and I will crack up. Every. Single. Time. It’s just funny to me. And one boy in particular is more than willing to oblige by doing a little black teeth trick as often as he can find something to make his teeth black.

That’s it, ya’ll. I’ll be back in a day or two. I’ve got a post in the works that’s been on my heart for quite some time. But until then, feel free to play our music video on repeat.